Zeds Dead

I stopped smoking 3 days ago and so far, it's getting easier to resist the temptation. The first day was the worst; my body kept screaming for cigarette. "Just one puff", it said. And it kept going up till now. But if I succumb to the temptation, I know I'd have to go though this shit again and people, this shit sucks.

I used to run 7km at a time or cycle 30km a day when I had the energy. At the very least, I'd cycle 7km back and forth to my school just to play basketball. I used to be unbeatable at basketball especially when I was with a friend of mine, Polo (bukan nama sebenar). But now, I got tired after only 7 minutes of running. That's my limit. And knowing that I myself caused my body to suck that much, I hated myself.

Why? Because I aim to be perfect.

National Novice Debating Championship 2011

Sorry for the hiatus. I've been incredibly busy these few days, what with ASCAPS Family Day to organize, reports for the Futsal tournament to be finished and most important of all, the Novice, I just didn't have the time and energy to post updates.

The tournament was really fun actually. I met my ex-classmate Amiera Azlyn there, turned out she joined the tournament too. I'm pretty sure if Puan Rosenani saw us back there, she would've been so proud especially since Azlyn looked gorgeous and by the looks of it she must've been quite a first speaker. I had a round with one of her teams and even they said Azlyn was very talkative. I guess Karisma chicks don't change easily eh?

Another thing that I loved about the tournament was that there were LOTS of hot chicks. Lots and lots and lots of hot chicks. And let me remind you they're not the Dungeon-level chicks, they're KL-level chicks. I should say, after not going to the central KL in a while, the shock kinda bitch-slapped my face with so much awesome and boner. Moreover (haha secondary school essay anyone?), there were so many of them hotties that one of my jeans actually tore a little bit down there. True story. Okay there might be some exaggeration there, but my jeans really had a minor tear around the crotch area.

So now I present you, the pics.

 

In my defense, my pants were kinda loose after I lost a few kilos.

 

This chick was weird. She slept like a baby and 

when she was sleepy she looked like a baby.

 

Tidur berjemaah. L-R Sobiha, Anyssa, Ridhwan, Amalina, Bunny.

 

If you zoom in a little, you can see a 

tiny sliver of drool.

There was a lot of sleeping around going on.

I HATE THIS

>chilling at the room, cool as hell

>feel a semi-strong urge to shit

>goes to toilet

>"oh that's quite a small turd compared to the urge."

>wash up, goes back to room

>chillin', turn on the laptop, watch tv series

>5 minutes later

>suddenly

>stomach start pumping shit with the strength of 1000 suns

>"THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING"

>runs to the toilet

>streams of liquid, spicy shit shoot out

>"OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS"

This actually happened just now. Oh stomach, wtf man?

Skuad Wempit

Sling bag, worn in front. Check.

Calls from the 80's, wanting their picture poses back. Check.

Shades that don't match any article of clothing worn in the picture. Check.

One hand in the pocket another behind your back, one knee straight while other is slightly bent, body facing sideways like you don't give a damn about the picture. Check.

Short front hair, long back hair is long. Check

A shirt that says Playboy. Check.

Cigarette (bonus points for positioning it almost exactly at the center of the picture). Check.

Guys, NOW we are ready to be the Kings Of Rempit.

Just wait for me to borrow my dad's Ex5, ya?

Cik Arnab

A few days ago, a friend of mine kind of flipped out and screamed "What the fuck is your problem?!" out of a small matter. She's a female, so for all I know, she was having her period. I love blaming others.

So anyway, I playfully said to another friend "This is so gonna be our latest catchphrase. I'm gonna make a song out of this." and we had a small laugh.

So here's the song.

 

Sorry dah rotate tapi lupa save.

Chorus

What the fuck is your problem (4x)


What the fuck is your problem
You keep screaming to my ears
What the fuck is your problem
It hurts me, can't you see the tears?


Why the fuck are you flipping, bitch
Your screaming makes my balls itch
You're lucky I'm not an asshole
Or I'd slap your face cold




I dunno why you're flipping
For such a small thing
Chill girl, relax, everything is okay
If you need me you know I'll always be there
Shoulders to cry on, ears to talk to
Laps to lie on, I'll be there for you
Listen


Chorus


Chill

What, you thought I was kidding when I said I would make a song out of it?

Ustazah Siti Nor Bahyah

Baca ni:

Mungkin korang pernah nampak ustazah ni. Beliau selalu bagi ceramah baik dalam tv ataupun dekat majlis-majlis ilmu. Mak aku pun minat dia ni dan kalau tak silap, suami dia pun selalu ikut dia bagi ceramah. Kesimpulannya, dia ni memang berilmu dan  ilmu yang dia sebarkan memang disebarkan atas niat yang baik. Tapi dalam hal ni, aku tak boleh kata dia tak bersalah.

Aku tak deny yang niat dia baik, nak memberitahu orang lain tentang Valentine's Day. Tapi cara penyampaian dia salah. Secara lebih tepat, dia salah pilih perkataan. Secara lebih tepat lagi, kesalahan dia ialah menggunakan perkataan Kristian, dimana ia akan disalahfaham sebagai serangan ke atas komuniti Kristian dan Kristian sahaja.

Dan kalau korang pergi dekat website watermark gambar diatas, korang boleh baca apa pendapat penulis blog tu dalam hal ni. Pada pendapat aku, penulis blog tu boleh dikatakan tak berakal sebab sepanjang-panjang artikel dia, takde satu pun isi dia yang kena dengan isu. Dengan erti kata lain, semua isi dia tak relevan.

Isi utama penulis blog tu ialah tak salah untuk menggunakan kata-kata ustazah tu terhadap Kristian sebab penganut Kristian memang mengamalkan perkara-perkara diatas. Aku tak selalu mencarut dalam blog tapi aku bagi pengecualian untuk kali ni.

Kau bangang ke hape la sial? Are you fucking high?

Aku cakap camni sebab agama Islam kena serangan yang sama. Disebabkan beberapa orang Islam yang buat suicide bombing, agama Islam terus kena label sebagai agama pengganas. Hanya kerana satu bilangan kecil penganut agama tu buat salah, terus agama tu dilabel sebagai ganas dan tak berotak. Dan atas sebab itulah orang Islam dihina, dicerca dan dipandang rendah oleh orang Amerika Syarikat. Kalau korang gagal peperiksaan, adil ke korang salahkan buku teks?

Untuk pengetahuan Encik Ameno, kebanyakan kes rogol, rompak, hisap dadah, kecurian, bunuh, dan buang anak dalam Malaysia dilakukan oleh orang Islam. Jadi berdasarkan formula Encik Ameno, Islam tu agama apa? Sila terangkan.

Encik Ameno, aku selalu jugak baca blog kau dan aku rasa blog kau agak bes jugak tapi untuk post kau kali ni, aku rasa tahap penggunaan otak kau berada pada tahap yang sangat rendah.

Ustazah Siti Nor Bahyah memang berilmu dan sentiasa cuba untuk menyebarkan ilmu dia kepada orang lain dengan niat yang baik, tapi untuk kali ni, maaf saya katakan, ustazah bersalah.

Oh click

It's amazing how women's brain works. It works in a very complicated way, yet somehow logic is left out in the process.

If you wanna do something awesome, they say "Ladies first!" When someone needs help, they say "You're a guy, you go." When they touch you, it's because you are friends. When you touch them, they say it's a harassment.

And the very next day, they talk about bullshit sexual equality. Oh women, u so funni.

A Dream Log

Last night, I dreamt that I was working at McD and for some unknown reason, everyone was playing truant. I went to the kitchen and everything was a mess but when I looked up, I saw Fynn Jamal working there too. So I pinched her cheeks because she was really, really cute in that dream.

And then the dream changed. I was in my dorm room. But the best part is that there was a fucking camel in my room. At some point, I tried to move it away because it was blocking the window and its penis kinda touched my leg.

When I woke up, I thought "What the hell did I smoke last night?"

Observer

One of the things that some people know about me is that I'm an observer, I like and am good at reading people. It might sound cool to most people, but to me, sometimes it sucks.

I hate how I'm right most of the time. Like how I predicted that my Bangi hangout clique, no matter how close we are, are gonna ditch me. At first I tried to brush it off, convincing myself that I was wrong, I must've misread them. I even tried different approaches so I could fit in better. Turned out, other than the already-siblings, no one is allowed to be in that clique. So I guess I got kicked out.

There's this one time I saw something bad about a classmate. Not on purpose of course, and I tried to brush it off too, but as it turned out she was quite...a cheap chick. It's quite a good thing that I won't be seeing her much after this.

Another thing that makes me hate this ability is that I have to see my friends' heart got broken long before it happened but I can't do anything about it. Telling them what I see will freak them out and risk friendship because admit it, when you're in love, friendship means nothing. So, most of the time, I keep my mouth shut and see their relationship crumble right before my eyes. And being the person that some people trust so much, they will tell me every single detail about what happened and not one of them would shock me. And the best part is I have to see it twice.

Some of my friends like to ask for advices from me because I'm right most of the time, but trust me, I hope I'm not.